Gonad-The-Destroyer

You're leaving here soon  But you're not leaving me    You're doing what's best for you I would do the same thing  If I were in your shoes    But your feet are too damn small

"You're feeling ill? Just take these pills They worked? Then you don't need them anymore Here you go Take these instead You say they only make it worse? I'll increase the dosage For good measure we'll add some of these as well Give it some time The side affects will go away Mr. Stearns.... Why have you stopped coming to see me?"

Endless physical pain Timeless emotional torment Loneliness Isolation Fear No children Nobody beside me No warmth No comfort No relief No release So what exactly is the point of all this again?

Exhausting the exasperation     Inhale Wet,salty bliss runs down my cheeks Warmth under hands turns frigid Demeanor follows suit Sweet release Finally Calm in the eye of the storm     Exhale

You tell me again that I'm wrong That's a siren song That spews forth from your lie generator You say I'm the one who left And yet I'm bereft Of the comfort that's supposedly family Another weekend down But still I'm around Once again my phone rings not at all So my sorrow drowns Beneath the alcohol My friends wonder if I've had too much I sit here singing Sad and absurd songs Off key and far from the melody The stress piles on More secrets for my over burdened head My hands are shaking again Is this normal for you? I'm the one who's so far beyond Help, it's all I ask Am I fooling myself?

So young  So hopeful    So full of life A facade to hide the child's strife A burning hand as cold as ice A gaping hole where his heart should be Blackened dreams tell the tale of a flame extinguished by a fistful of hate A banshee's cry  A siren's wail    And no more Shall this child weep  Tears of fire         -Brian Stearns

Cardboard illusions Consume my ravaged mind Wandering among the ragged cutouts Of hollow and desolate grey My eyes strain to feel And quiver, painfully discouraged In the hushed company Of vast melancholy Robed in sheets of sprawling silence The reach Of frozen illusions Expand in the sluggish passing of weeks Without expression They toll in bliss Peacefully void Vacant for all time

True friends Are the ones who stay by your side Even when you tell them to go away True friends Are the ones who lift you up Even when they feel down True friends Are the ones you never need to apologize to Even when you mess everything up A true friend Is what I need the most To save me From myself...

A strange sensation An unknown feeling For once I'm not invisible For once People notice me I'm not alone I have someone who cares I feel... Happy Then I wake up Was it a dream? Or a nightmare?

Galaxies burning with hatred and despair Explosions of desire and lust Craving blood An unquiet mind Sanity eaten away by the monsters Born from society And trained to abuse those who meant good Dark labyrinths isolate you Locked away in a cold metal cage Nails screeching against the walls The rain of a thousand demons Burns your skin Their sharp twisted claws Thrash at you You look at the object in your hand A carving knife The demons claw An unquiet mind Cities of fire burning inside your head The fear as everything around you Is eaten away by the dancing flames An unquiet mind An unknown hand lies on your shoulder Scratching away

A ghostly walk on the autumnal pavement Even my own shadow is gleaming more Than the empty shell of my body. As I keep wandering, on this endless pit Picky starving crows are looking down on me The leftovers of my thoughts order me to die out. This path of glory I've kept away from, it might be gone. My dignity and pride, where have you fled? I'm searching for the graveyard of redemption Where my promises are all buried Shot down by my deceit's gun. Will you ever forgive me? As I'm standing there, the icy silence blows ; As time goes by, the ruthless mutism of yours Reckons that time for forgiveness hasn't come yet.

Can't tell why you're still here. I only bring out your deep fear. Constantly near panic attack. Focusing on what you lack. So afraid that I'll go away. Why do you want me to stay? You deserve more than me. Really, what do you see? Trying to be better for you. I don't know what I can do. I'll try whatever I can. I'm just sorry for who I am.

It's drifting. It's always been                  just                       d  r  i  f  t  i  n  g every time her eyes have made the motions of a tell-tale blink and she's not entirely sure that she can remember just, what was now so far way, actually was and the wooden wheel in her lungs, splintered in memory. She thinks repetitively               I                    don't   want to know